Thursday, June 9, 2011

a selfish, complaining post.

Yup. 
Here it is.
Gloom. 
Just click the X box at the top right of this page right now. And shrink this little complaining to "no more". 

We are trying to sell our house. And it's not happening. For so long we tried to be patient. Tried to see that there are far worse things. People are dealing with death, cancer, lost relationships. You name it. But no... we are just trying to sell a dumb house made of boards and cement...and we I am getting bent out of shape about it. Usually... I try to write about being broken and fragile and full of crap... and full of HOPE. But today.... I feel no hope. I just want to think about "poor little us" and our pathetic "problem". I'll let you know when my gloom hits bottom, realizes that it's a life sucking time bomb and jumps itself off the cliff. Till then... thank you for being a kind and gentle space I could feel free enough to unload. 

Love, Jenny
p.s. (did you see that a few days ago I posted about being content??? What the h - e - double hockey sticks???)

5 comments:

  1. Could I possibly love you any more than I already do? I didn't think so until I read this post. Check you out being all gloomy and using the hockey stick profanity. Someday, when you are all settled in your perfect little new home, i will remind you of this and you will crack yourself up. (You're kinda freaking out right now about posting this and thinking about deleting it huh?)

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  2. Your authenticity once again is refreshing. I think I can relate to what you are feeling - we have tried to sell our house a couple times in the last 18ish months - and the door hasn't opened. It is a tough place to be. I have a couple people I vent to about it - who let me cry when I need to. There are days when I say what the h-e-double-hockey-stick too, and then somehow I bounce back and am content with where He has us. Not trying to give any cookie-cutter answers - just want to let you know you are not alone.

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  3. The last time we sold a house it took 2 years on the market. The whole time I was driving nearly an hour one way to my teaching job.

    My friends began to tell me that it "wasn't God's will for us to move." They said I'd made a mistake taking that job and that God didn't want me doing that.

    It hurt.

    I KNEW I was right where God wanted me to be and I couldn't understand why our house didn't sell.

    Well - - - it finally sold. We moved closer to my school. About three months after the sale was final, my husband had to stop working for three months - - - which meant his LARGE income was gone and we only had my TINY private school salary to "live" on.

    Guess what? The money from the sale of the house was still in the bank - - - it took nearly every penny of it, but we had money with which to live.

    God knew that was coming. He knew we would need that house money. Had our house sold sooner, we may have already invested that money in another house - - - and oh what a mess we would have been in.

    I learned that God has a time table that is far better than ours. What feels like a bitter delay to us is probably EXACTLY what we need and we just don't know it at the time.

    Trust Him. He knows your every need and He's supplying it.

    Hang in there - - - you can do this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jenny, I can truly say I have been there. In fact, just last month, I was still there. Trying to sell our house. Anytime some well-meaning person would say, It will sell in the perfect time, I had to practice not screaming at the top of my lungs. So I am not going to say that to you... but I will say this... you will survive. Although having a good scream or two just may help. :)
    molly

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  5. Jenny you shouldn't think because your challenges are seemingly less than someone elses that you are somehow less deserving of feeling pain or that you can't express your angst! I'm glad you did...I will offer a prayer for you to be able to get through this present challenge. I know how these things can get to us as time drags out and nothing happen!

    Hope you have a peaceful weekend!

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